


So Dead

by Deannie



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 13:22:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1900464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deannie/pseuds/Deannie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who knew the trees here took such exception to being used for extracurricular activities?</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Dead

"Jack?" 

I'm fine. Really. 

"Jack, are you okay?" 

Yeah. Fine. Can't move. Can't really see so well, but... fine. I hate trees. 

"Sam, this is Daniel." 

What's Carter going to do, Daniel? She's the wrong kind of doctor. 

_"What's going on, Daniel?"_

That'll take some explaining, which he's trying to do, in between all his nervous ums and ahs and grabbing at my hand. It's going to take some major explaining--and Fraiser at her finest and most... discrete. Well, actually, I think it's really going to take Daniel getting me dressed before Carter comes to the rescue, because if she sees this, I'm never going to live it down. 

For Christ's sake, it's just a splinter! Who knew the trees here took such exception to being used for extracurricular activities? And why did I have to be the one up against the tree, huh? Usual it's me who makes with the caveman routine when we're off-world... 

"They're coming, Jack." Calm down, Daniel. Just watch me breathe for a few seconds and try to play along, okay? "Sam's about twenty minutes away." 

I'm pretty sure Morse code isn't a language he speaks, so blinking PUT MY DAMN CLOTHES ON isn't going to help me much. 

I'm _so_ dead. 

"JACK!" 

Relax, Daniel. I didn't mean it literally. Though come to think of it, breathing isn't this difficult normally... 

   
"Carter." I can feel her laughing as the doc walks off. Once again, I'll live. But there's a certain part of my anatomy that might never be the same. 

"...Yes, sir?" 

"Oh don't even try that innocent act with me." Yeah, I'll live--but I won't enjoy it. Why Daniel couldn't at least have pulled my pants up...! The swelling is bad enough, but having Carter see it? 

"Yes, sir." 

"Is there any chance--any chance at all--that we could pretend this didn't happen?" 

"What didn't happen, sir?" Good girl, Carter. The innocent act really suits you. 

"Thank you." 

"Yes, sir." 

"And stop laughing." I just know she and Fraiser are going to go out tonight and bust a gut over this. 

"...Yes, sir." 

So dead. 

* * * * * * *  
The End


End file.
